Thursday, October 13, 2011

Face Your Fears

I'm growing.
I'm facing my fears.
It's been so hard for me to be tough, to be real, to stand up for myself.
In college I had a good friend who gave me a rock that said Face Your Fears.
My biggest challenge.
How can it be so hard to stand up for ourselves? To have strength and courage.
I've learned that sometimes doing the hardest thing, is really the best thing.
That sometimes our biggest trials, our biggest losses are the ones that REALLY change us, help us grow and teach us the most!
There is joy and relief and happiness in my heart as I face my fears lately.
I encourage you to face your fears whatever they may be.
What do we have to loose? 
Stop and REALLY think about that question.
Don't judge yourself, or let anyone else's opinions or judgements affect your choices.
You can face your fears! And the joy and rush you feel when you've faced that fear... AMAZING!

Story TIME!
A couple of years ago my husband I were driving up the North Shore, we got to the Temperance River. We got out to hike around. The huge rocks that have formed the landscape near Lake Superior are amazing! The rivers and streams that reside along the lake are so beautiful, they cut the large boulders and rock forming beautiful cliffs.

My husband is the guy jumping off the boulders and cliffs. Yea. He's Army, he's strong, he tough, and so freakin' brave! Me - nope, not happening. NEVER.
I think we balance each other. He pushes me, and I hold him back when he needs it. (even though he probably doesn't like it) After hiking around for awhile we decided to swim,(hubby talked me into it) it was late afternoon and the water was cold. We met some girls from the area who were going to swim up the river and it's rapids into this rock cave where a big waterfall poured into this huge hole, that had formed from the beating of the falls. They invited me and hubby. I was terrified.
I can't.
I won't.
I hate swimming.

I'm not brave.
It's too scary!
These amazing girls talked me into it.
I resisted... telling them "I can't, I'm not a strong enough swimmer!"
Yes you can they chanted! "We'll hold your hand, we've done this so many times... we're from the area! We know where all the big rocks are and we can make a chain link to help pull you up and over the rapids if you're not strong enough." I was freaked. They kept calling to me "Come on, really you can do it, we'll help you!!!" My husband the thrill seeker was ecstatic that these girls were urging me on! His eyes just lite up and he was ready! He getting in on the encouragement too. 
He didn't think I was going to go for the idea.
Somehow I think the word "Fine" came out of me?!
I was scared shit less!
The anxiety was so overwhelming, it felt like an out of body experience. I couldn't believe it was happening. I wasn't a strong enough swimmer. BUT together the four of them got me up the rapids and into the rock cave where we all stood under the powerful waterfall. My legs were jello. How did I get there? The noise was so loud - even while shouting we could barely hear each other. I did it, I couldn't believe it.
I faced my fears. I was alive... and I did it! 
We carefully and strategically got back down and out into the calm lake-like pool at the bottom of the river where we started. When my feet finally reached the earth, just sheer joy and excitement! We were freezing and I was shivering. I don't think we even had a towel! I was amped, excited, blissed out beyond words. When we got back to the car, we turned the heat on and my body finally relaxed.
I gushed with hunny about what I had just done! Could he believe it? I couldn't!

Within minutes I was out, out like light.

The rush of adrenaline had taken everything out of me.


And, for me (probably not for most people) this was a major fear to face!
What's your biggest, scariest fear? Maybe you don't even know really what it is that your afraid of. That's okay.
When you feel that resist, you feel that fear, the No, No, No - you can't, won't, couldn't shouldn't... TRY IT.
Take a risk. Even if you hate risks.
Look inside you, and prove to yourself that you can do it!
I'm working on being brave, and as scary as it is...
It's changing me and I'm growing.
And it's good.

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